bathing in the river

my experiences here just seem to get more and more interesting and intense. several recent events i wanted to write about...ok, one thing that i haven't mentioned but i will now is that i am dating someone here. for about the past 1 1/2 months. his name is blada. we dance together. he is my dance partner!! and we have been developing a relationship, that has just gotten sweeter and sweeter. it's pretty simple also--simple, slow, and sweet.

so, the other day, we knew it was going to rain, but we (blada and i) set off walking to go to this place where they made a hang out spot, like a mini beach, on part of the river...as we were walking there, we got drenched. then when we got there, it was unreal...i saw several people i knew from town, there were alot of people there hanging out...it's out in the country...so we get in the water, it's shallow but has a current and i was able to swim in it...which felt so good...we swam together for awhile, danced in the water together, then got out, then sat with some people in the water further upstream...then walked around, danced on the grass...then...what do you know but this BAND comes walking all the way down the muddy dirt road, to the "beach", and is playing this kind of traditional music called "rara"--similar sounding to what they play in the street in funeral processions...it is homemade metal horns and a drum with drumsticks and a hand drum...so they are playing, and it was so interesting...it was like the group consciousness was altered by the music...people were dancing, some of them almost trancelike...this one guy, he was either really drunk or crazy, the way he was acting...it was really intense...plus of course wherever i go i am really noticed, and lots of people make different kinds of comments/commentary...so of course that was mixed into the situation as well...oh and the band was playing and actually walked into the river, and was standing in the river playing...this guy was waving around a Haitian flag...it was wild. i felt really honored to be there, to have such an intimate glimpse into this corner of peoples' lives here, of the culture here...i feel that way all the time, but this was really pronounced...

things at the hospital never cease to be interesting...there have been steady births...i just attended the 100th birth today at St Therese hospital since i have been there...yesterday there was a woman who had already had eclamptic seizures, who was in labor and birthed a stillborn baby...who was growth restricted but also premature...it's hard to say how many weeks she really was...when she birthed, another MW caught her baby, but i asked her if she wanted to see the baby, because i noticed that the baby was just being tucked away in the sheet below her...she wanted to, so we sat her up...she started touching the baby, and the MW's scolded her, because it would make her hands dirty, and then she would contaminate things around her...so i gave her a glove...so she touched the baby, a little, then the MW who caught her baby asked her if she was done (she wasn't really done) because i guess she wanted to finish up...those brief moments were important...
the 29 week baby that was making it got DISCHARGED...2 days ago...it wasn't time yet, the bb was still being fed with a tube, the mom wasn't good at putting in the tube yet and also wasn't on top of expressing milk...i am worried about how this baby will do...

today one of the OB's did a surgery for an abdominal cyst on a woman and he brought in the contents for us to see, because it was so interesting...it was 2 ovarian cysts--one was almost the size of a basketball...i don't usually think that ANYTHING is gross, but, honestly, this grossed me out. the big cyst was filled with fluid, all of these little clay-covered balls, that were soft, maybe 1/2 cm diameter, balls of hair, there were TEETH, embedded into the sack of the cyst...the smaller cyst was mostly full of this yellowish jelly-like substance, and also with balls of hair...it was really gross but fascinating.

there is always the usual mix of ladies there with hypertenstion (like 180/120), pre-eclampsia, and eclampsia...today it looked like almost everyone who had an IV in place, the IV's were dry, with blood infiltrating into the tubing...they get left like that for a whole day sometimes...because people usually have to buy their own supplies so since no one has any money, they walk around like that...
i found out a few days ago that the house where i stay with the catholic priests, the rectory, they are going to have some new priests coming to live here and are going to need to occupy my room after august. they have been planning for that. which means...that i am probably meant to come home after the 6 months. this seems like a pretty strong sign. i have to admit though, as much as i have suffered here and looked forward to returning home, i still feel really torn about leaving, especially about leaving before this class is finished...it would be only 2 more months...it feels like i am being torn away from the people here, from marthonie and the students...from a rich intimate cultural experience, which has been both so precious and so relentlessly hard...i guess wither way that things turned out, i would feel like i didn't complete the other side of it...if i stayed, i would feel like once again another year has passed without being able to spend quality time with family and community in NC...who knows next year if i would be able to set aside 2 months to come and visit...

i am still waiting to finalize my plans until Nadene and Steve from Midwives for Haiti come here next week...but it looks like that it what is going to unfold...
that's about all i guess. i feel so thankful for this experience which has been so so interesting and has helped me to remain fluid, adaptable, open...i have recieved so much, and i hope that i have shared an equal amount...maybe, hopefully...
love you guys...

reina