dissappointments/achievements with students 6-7-10

so...
i felt so discouraged the other morning after working the night with 3 students...one of them was really on point and helpful and helping me to massage and listen to fetal heart tones on these 2 women in labor, and the other 2 were not erally helping...you would think that if they saw me, their teacher, standing there doing this that they would come and do it...one of these women had twins! this is now the 4th twin delivery i've seen here. everything was fine. small babies though. 2.1 k and 1.5 or 1.7 k.
but today, we had skills practice class and it went well, and i could see how they are progressing with certain things. they still need so much help! but they were practiving vaginal exams for dilation, station, effacement, with these models, and that was really good,. we need to keep doing this. practicing htese basic skills. becasue in real life, when i do VE's with them, so many times they are way off. why? still? i don't understand why. there are many possible reasons.
what else...just going day by day, dreaming all the time about my family and community at home...in NC and EP...but atleast here, i am understanding the language alot more, and enjoying my friendship with marthonie tha tis slowly growing, and seeing her open up more and more as a midwife...
wow...
i miss and love all of you!!!
reina