So...
I still don't have internet, but...I am at a new friend's house...this Nepalese guy who works for the UN here...they have internet here in their camp. So...
I saw something 2 days ago on my 30th birthday that really really made my day, and was the best birthday present ever. I walked into the delivery room, where Marthonie and the students were with this woman who they had allowed to labor on the floor and she was now starting to push there, squatting, and they were letting her stay there. they put a towel beneath her. I got behind her and she continued pushing, pulling on my arms as she pushed. It was a beautiful birth, easy, physiologic. Her placenta came there too, squatting there. It was the first time I have seen anything like this here, besides when the American midwives have caught babies on the floor. When one of the MW grads came in and reprimanded everyone for letting her birth there, because "the hospital admisintration would be mad", Marthonie stood up to her and explained why it was better this way for this woman and told her that she would "take the blame". I was really touched by all of this.
Later on, in the evening, I noticed that it was nearly a full moon, basically a full moon, and with both of these things, everything felt in balance.
Things are basically flowing along pretty well. I feel like I am in the groove with Marthonie and the students. I have seen more change than I thought I would at the beginning. There are so many differences here that make it hard to achieve the same level of education that you would expect normally, anywhere else. And cultural differneces in the ways that people learn, and the ways people communicate.
It is all very interesting. This is a very interesting and special experience for me, and I hope for those around me as well.
Oh, I ws going to tell you guys something else: the day after my birthday, it was so sweet, I was included in the birthday celebration of my friends' daughter, who turned 2. They had this party, for the both of us. They had this cake that said "bonne fet reina galjour" and they had this speech and this beautiful prayer before we ate...it was very special. they were so happy to have me as part of their celebration. they sent me home with the cake--on the back of a motorcycle--and i got home and shared it with those at home, where we were also co celebrating someone's birthday who lives there. except there was nothing there to celebrate with, except the beer i had bought and the cake that was donated. it ws so nice though. we each got 1 beer and some cake.
i love all you guys...
reina
Friday, May 28, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
5-24-10
Hello to everyone...
I have missed writing in the blog...unfortunately the internet where I am staying is down, and I think it is going to be AWHILE before it is fixed. So, I have been unable to blog...but I will continue to do it as much as possible; it is a relief for me when I can, because I feel connected to all of you and like I am sharing my life/story with all of you...right now I came to this building at the hospital that has internet...so, good.
Things here are going allright. Each day I feel that I can understand more Creole and speak more. When you are learning a language you always understand more than you speak. That is how it is for me. I feel more accustomed to the hospital, although still surprised and dismayed at things there pretty often...I have made more friends in Hinche, so that is nice...
What is going on here currently...well, my 30th birthday is in 2 days...still don't really have any kind of plan for how to mark it...I want to do something, but here, there is nowhere to really go, and I don't have a house where I can throw a party...so, I don't know...maybe I will just spend the evening (after work) alone, reflecting, writing...which I have been doing alot of recently...there is alot of time to think here...maybe too much time...that was what one of the Cuban doctors was saying the other day...I went to the house where they all stay...we were hanging out, talking about living in Hinche. He was saying that you have too much time to think. He was saying that there have been doctors that have come here and left crazy. Everything he was describing...were things that I have noticed and thought about already, but it was interesting hearing him put it all out there. He was saying how, this is a hard place to live. It is a town with no electricity. There is nowhere to go and sit, listen to nice music, dance. There are a few little nightclubs, but they mostly play Haitian Kompa music, which to me and them is very boring and repetitive. To me it is like generic watered down carribean music. sorry to say. I would rather listen to salsa, merengue, anything Latin. I was thinking about this the other day: it dawned on me that I really miss Latina culture in general. The vibe here is different. I think that is part of why I am also not really attracted to any of the men here. They don't have that sensual Latino energy. Anyway, this doctor, he was describing how hard it is for himself and others from Cuba to live here, and, he just sounded so burned out already. He has onloy been here for 4 months. He has 2 YEARS to be here, in Haiti. It is a hard place to be. You also get burned out on the apathy of the healthcare providers around you. That was another thing they were talking about. I am thankful that I only have another 3 months to go. I am at the halfway point of the 6 months that I committed. I may possibly stay longer--through Nov--through graduation of the students--but, I don't really want to. I am trying to just enjoy and appreciate the life experience that I am getting here. I don't want to be pessimistic about it. I really do want to enjoy the culture and people. I stop and talk to alot of people on the street. I let people talk to me. you have to put up somewhat of a protective shell around you, because you are constantly on display. People just stare at you, or yell out "blan!"--it gets taxing when it is people over and over all day every time you go onto the street--but, I try to not take it personally. I know not to but I still have to really make an effort not to. Sometimes I feel like I could stay longer, when I feel really uplifted because I am understanding so much more creole, or when there is a busy day in the delivery room. But, it is also just so hard to imagine staying longer, because it is such a harsh environment to live in. Lots of dust and pollution in the air. Not good access to food. I am not in shape anymore the way I used to be, which is depressing to me. I want to leave after the 6 months, get in shape again, get healthier, and also, spend time with my family in NC. It has been almost 7 years that I have been living apart from them and seeing them 1-2 times a year for 2 weeks at a time. So, we will see what happens. I am still open to the possibility of staying longer than the 6 months, but at this time, I just have to think of it as 6 months.
Interesting things recently...I did another hard manual removal (of the placenta) the other day--this lady had birthed at home about 5 hours prior--the placenta was way up there, on one side of the top of the uterus. Hard to get. But I got it. Also, I sutured someone 5 days after they gave birth--at this same hospital--she had a tear that separated her clit hood from inner labia, shich was just hanging down--it was easy to do, and easy to debride--just with gauze. Haven't had a lot of births, but some...I stayed late the other day and caught someone's baby who I had been supporting since she was in active labor--a 2/1 being induced on misoprostol (cytotec) for 44 weeks gestation--who know if those dates were really correct...maybe they were...anyway, her birth was fun...she benefitted from the support...the midwives here, they don't do any kind of labor support, at all. There was this woman the other afternoon--I stayed after class with 2 american MW's until the night shift arrived (with more american MW's and 3 students) because this woman was in agony, being induced with pitocin after being diagnosed with placental abruption and fetal demise...her first pregnancy, 18 years old...just writhing on the table...myself and the 2 midwives came into the delivery room where she was, and the haitian midwives were just doing paperwprk, not doing anything at all with this lady, except telling her not to cry...
I know that part of the lack of compassion & support for the laboring and birthing women is cultural, and I accept that. I just don't know how much of it is cultural and useless to try to show another way, and how much of it is just training and experience with that model. Same thing when there are dying babies. They just get left on this table to die by themselves. How much of this is worthy of attention, of discussion, of trying to show another way, and how much of if is appropriate, in a place where so many babies and people die all the time...a survival mechanism, to be able to keep functioning, in a place so devoid of resources and help, options...I don't know the answers to these questions, but I think there must be a balance of both realities in the answer...it is possible to improve certain aspects of the care we provide, even in a place that sees so much death...it is also possible for someone like me to accept and validate the way they already deal with this...and respect it.
Certain things I just cannot accept though...like, the other day I walked into the delivery room and there were a few graduate midwives there, one wqas catching a baby...3 were seated, one was asking the mom, who was pushing her baby out, questions like "are you married/where do you live"---and no one was listening to the baby's heartbeat....things like this, it just feels like total negligence to me, and things like this need to be improved. basic midwifery skills, like labor monitoring, neonatal resusitation, etc. VERY IMPORTANT skills.
so, it is a long process. the graduates need continuing education. the current students, I hope that something I do here will be of value to them in their practice of midwifery.
Marthonie, my co-teacher, I am enjoying her alot. She knows alot of stuff that I want to learn, and vice versa. Our skills and experience are quite different and we both need what the other has. We both see that. SO, it is good.
American volunteers come wach week, and it is mostly my job to orient them and put them in the schedule. We have them doing 3 nights/week with the students, which is realyl good. I am glad that they are being utilized, since it takes so much energy and money to come here. Sometimes I have really felt that the volunteers are not being utilized well and that it's a big waste of energy to come here for only 1 week. As things have becoem more and more organized, it feels more worth it.
I hope this posts after all of this writing! I miss all of you and love all of you! I will write again as soon as I can...maybe in 1-2 weeks.
love...
reina
I have missed writing in the blog...unfortunately the internet where I am staying is down, and I think it is going to be AWHILE before it is fixed. So, I have been unable to blog...but I will continue to do it as much as possible; it is a relief for me when I can, because I feel connected to all of you and like I am sharing my life/story with all of you...right now I came to this building at the hospital that has internet...so, good.
Things here are going allright. Each day I feel that I can understand more Creole and speak more. When you are learning a language you always understand more than you speak. That is how it is for me. I feel more accustomed to the hospital, although still surprised and dismayed at things there pretty often...I have made more friends in Hinche, so that is nice...
What is going on here currently...well, my 30th birthday is in 2 days...still don't really have any kind of plan for how to mark it...I want to do something, but here, there is nowhere to really go, and I don't have a house where I can throw a party...so, I don't know...maybe I will just spend the evening (after work) alone, reflecting, writing...which I have been doing alot of recently...there is alot of time to think here...maybe too much time...that was what one of the Cuban doctors was saying the other day...I went to the house where they all stay...we were hanging out, talking about living in Hinche. He was saying that you have too much time to think. He was saying that there have been doctors that have come here and left crazy. Everything he was describing...were things that I have noticed and thought about already, but it was interesting hearing him put it all out there. He was saying how, this is a hard place to live. It is a town with no electricity. There is nowhere to go and sit, listen to nice music, dance. There are a few little nightclubs, but they mostly play Haitian Kompa music, which to me and them is very boring and repetitive. To me it is like generic watered down carribean music. sorry to say. I would rather listen to salsa, merengue, anything Latin. I was thinking about this the other day: it dawned on me that I really miss Latina culture in general. The vibe here is different. I think that is part of why I am also not really attracted to any of the men here. They don't have that sensual Latino energy. Anyway, this doctor, he was describing how hard it is for himself and others from Cuba to live here, and, he just sounded so burned out already. He has onloy been here for 4 months. He has 2 YEARS to be here, in Haiti. It is a hard place to be. You also get burned out on the apathy of the healthcare providers around you. That was another thing they were talking about. I am thankful that I only have another 3 months to go. I am at the halfway point of the 6 months that I committed. I may possibly stay longer--through Nov--through graduation of the students--but, I don't really want to. I am trying to just enjoy and appreciate the life experience that I am getting here. I don't want to be pessimistic about it. I really do want to enjoy the culture and people. I stop and talk to alot of people on the street. I let people talk to me. you have to put up somewhat of a protective shell around you, because you are constantly on display. People just stare at you, or yell out "blan!"--it gets taxing when it is people over and over all day every time you go onto the street--but, I try to not take it personally. I know not to but I still have to really make an effort not to. Sometimes I feel like I could stay longer, when I feel really uplifted because I am understanding so much more creole, or when there is a busy day in the delivery room. But, it is also just so hard to imagine staying longer, because it is such a harsh environment to live in. Lots of dust and pollution in the air. Not good access to food. I am not in shape anymore the way I used to be, which is depressing to me. I want to leave after the 6 months, get in shape again, get healthier, and also, spend time with my family in NC. It has been almost 7 years that I have been living apart from them and seeing them 1-2 times a year for 2 weeks at a time. So, we will see what happens. I am still open to the possibility of staying longer than the 6 months, but at this time, I just have to think of it as 6 months.
Interesting things recently...I did another hard manual removal (of the placenta) the other day--this lady had birthed at home about 5 hours prior--the placenta was way up there, on one side of the top of the uterus. Hard to get. But I got it. Also, I sutured someone 5 days after they gave birth--at this same hospital--she had a tear that separated her clit hood from inner labia, shich was just hanging down--it was easy to do, and easy to debride--just with gauze. Haven't had a lot of births, but some...I stayed late the other day and caught someone's baby who I had been supporting since she was in active labor--a 2/1 being induced on misoprostol (cytotec) for 44 weeks gestation--who know if those dates were really correct...maybe they were...anyway, her birth was fun...she benefitted from the support...the midwives here, they don't do any kind of labor support, at all. There was this woman the other afternoon--I stayed after class with 2 american MW's until the night shift arrived (with more american MW's and 3 students) because this woman was in agony, being induced with pitocin after being diagnosed with placental abruption and fetal demise...her first pregnancy, 18 years old...just writhing on the table...myself and the 2 midwives came into the delivery room where she was, and the haitian midwives were just doing paperwprk, not doing anything at all with this lady, except telling her not to cry...
I know that part of the lack of compassion & support for the laboring and birthing women is cultural, and I accept that. I just don't know how much of it is cultural and useless to try to show another way, and how much of it is just training and experience with that model. Same thing when there are dying babies. They just get left on this table to die by themselves. How much of this is worthy of attention, of discussion, of trying to show another way, and how much of if is appropriate, in a place where so many babies and people die all the time...a survival mechanism, to be able to keep functioning, in a place so devoid of resources and help, options...I don't know the answers to these questions, but I think there must be a balance of both realities in the answer...it is possible to improve certain aspects of the care we provide, even in a place that sees so much death...it is also possible for someone like me to accept and validate the way they already deal with this...and respect it.
Certain things I just cannot accept though...like, the other day I walked into the delivery room and there were a few graduate midwives there, one wqas catching a baby...3 were seated, one was asking the mom, who was pushing her baby out, questions like "are you married/where do you live"---and no one was listening to the baby's heartbeat....things like this, it just feels like total negligence to me, and things like this need to be improved. basic midwifery skills, like labor monitoring, neonatal resusitation, etc. VERY IMPORTANT skills.
so, it is a long process. the graduates need continuing education. the current students, I hope that something I do here will be of value to them in their practice of midwifery.
Marthonie, my co-teacher, I am enjoying her alot. She knows alot of stuff that I want to learn, and vice versa. Our skills and experience are quite different and we both need what the other has. We both see that. SO, it is good.
American volunteers come wach week, and it is mostly my job to orient them and put them in the schedule. We have them doing 3 nights/week with the students, which is realyl good. I am glad that they are being utilized, since it takes so much energy and money to come here. Sometimes I have really felt that the volunteers are not being utilized well and that it's a big waste of energy to come here for only 1 week. As things have becoem more and more organized, it feels more worth it.
I hope this posts after all of this writing! I miss all of you and love all of you! I will write again as soon as I can...maybe in 1-2 weeks.
love...
reina
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
settling in more
i am still settling in here. trying to spend more time outside, in the street, with people. trying to reach out/respond to other people reaching out to me. the people here in general are so friendly, so interested in talking to you. it's still surprising to me in many moments because i'm just not used to being in a place where so many people are so open to talking to me like this. they ask all about your family and everything.
the other day i went with a friend of mine out into the country a little ways...it was so nice. so nice to see a different place, outside of town. the air was so fresh, there were more trees, there was a river....he helped me gather mangoes to bring back here...it was enjoyable. i think we are going to go back this week one day.
there haven't been alot of births lately; today there was this woman who had been referred from another hospital where they don't do c sections, who her baby was in a transverse lie, and basically what had happened was that she had probably labored at home for a long time and then finally gone to the hospital. when she arrived at st therese, the baby was totally impacted inside her, one arm was hanging out, and her uterus had ruptured. the OB had to do a hysterectomy and she got a blood transfusion.
i am enjoying getting to know Marthonie, my co teacher, more. she is really delightful and collaborative. it is really nice to be developing a relationship with her.
i am understanding so much more creole now. i can have a conversation with anyone, i can find a way to understand anything that they want to tell me. it is so nice to finally be at this point. not as good as it could be, but so much better than before.
i am halfway through my time here if i only stay the 6 months. i am not fully decided yet whether to stay longer or not. i am thinking of it as that i am staying the 6 months, and then going to NC to be with my family and community there, to have a nice long visit there before moving on to the next thing. we will see.
love you all...
reina
the other day i went with a friend of mine out into the country a little ways...it was so nice. so nice to see a different place, outside of town. the air was so fresh, there were more trees, there was a river....he helped me gather mangoes to bring back here...it was enjoyable. i think we are going to go back this week one day.
there haven't been alot of births lately; today there was this woman who had been referred from another hospital where they don't do c sections, who her baby was in a transverse lie, and basically what had happened was that she had probably labored at home for a long time and then finally gone to the hospital. when she arrived at st therese, the baby was totally impacted inside her, one arm was hanging out, and her uterus had ruptured. the OB had to do a hysterectomy and she got a blood transfusion.
i am enjoying getting to know Marthonie, my co teacher, more. she is really delightful and collaborative. it is really nice to be developing a relationship with her.
i am understanding so much more creole now. i can have a conversation with anyone, i can find a way to understand anything that they want to tell me. it is so nice to finally be at this point. not as good as it could be, but so much better than before.
i am halfway through my time here if i only stay the 6 months. i am not fully decided yet whether to stay longer or not. i am thinking of it as that i am staying the 6 months, and then going to NC to be with my family and community there, to have a nice long visit there before moving on to the next thing. we will see.
love you all...
reina
Thursday, May 6, 2010
an almost c-section
So today was interesting...isn't it always so interesting here...this morning I arrive and there's this lady who was sent from a different hospital to St Therese because she had "CPD" (bab'y head can't fit through the mom's pelvis)---I ask how dilated she is, and the MW from the night before says she's complete...she has been there for half an hour, and they have already called the Dr and started prepping her for a c/s. I check her, and the head is low, and she is starting to push a little, and she feels like she has enough room to me. She is exhausted, out of her mind, and just chanting over and over that she can't do it and that she doesn't have enough room for the bb to come out. Because that's what everyone has been telling her. I say that I want to help her, and I start trying to help her. And monitoring her (fetal heart tones). The MW and nurse from the night before get angry with me and are being VERY negative and there are all these people talking at once--the students were all there--no one is trying to help her, or me, no one is tuning in. Except one student, she tuned in and came and stayed by her side and was supporting her. But there's all of this noise and negative talk about how she DOESN'T have room, etc...and they're like: "there's caput!" (swelling on the bb's head). that means that there is CPD! and I'm like: " no, caput is normal. " she has enough room. well, luckily Marthonie walked in, and I told her what was going on, and she checked her too, and agreed with me that she felt roomy enough to try for a vaginal birth, and she tried to explain to the people who were mad that she agreed with me. She really got my back. The Dr arrived, he checked her, and let us proceed. Unfortunately this woman was already so scared and convinced that her body wasn't capable of doing it, that it was hard, but she DID get into it. After a little while I was able to get her into a kneeling position, off her back, and that helped. And people started collaborating and helping (the students). And, she had her baby. It was fine. Everything was fine. The Dr came in awhile later and was very happy to see that he had birthed, and thanked me. I thanked him for his patience, and for him allowing us to help her. He thanked me for my patience. This lady was on the brink of getting a c/s that she really didn't need. It was like, she had come in, and the people here, they didn't eval her for themselves, they just said, ok, she can't do it and needs a c/s. when she was so close to birthing. Geez. The other thing is the chaos, the yelling, having all of these people around, with no one actually helping the mom. So, I was very happy, and very thankful to Marthonie for her support and collaboration, but also very annoyed at the fact that this other MW had gotten so angry at me for wanting to help this lady and for challenging a bogus diagnosis.
We had another birth later in the afternoon--a nice birth--another first timer, who was exhausted and out of her mind, but that is normal, and it was nice, no one was mean to her, the MW's and nurses who were there with me, we were a good team...in the end we ended up cutting an epis, and it was the right thing to do--but, everything was good.
Ok...that is all for now...the days are passing a little faster now...I am settling in a little more to my environment...accepting it more...I feel so thankful for that...
love you all...
Reina
We had another birth later in the afternoon--a nice birth--another first timer, who was exhausted and out of her mind, but that is normal, and it was nice, no one was mean to her, the MW's and nurses who were there with me, we were a good team...in the end we ended up cutting an epis, and it was the right thing to do--but, everything was good.
Ok...that is all for now...the days are passing a little faster now...I am settling in a little more to my environment...accepting it more...I feel so thankful for that...
love you all...
Reina
Monday, May 3, 2010
May 3rd 2010
So...things have been really up and down since I've been back...there were a few days where I just felt so down, like I just felt so useless, at the hospital, so unsatisfied in my work as a midwife, like I am operating on 20% of my capacity, not finding ways to really effectively teach what I want to...like the other day with the 2 squatting births...I just really felt discouraged.
Then, after realizing how sad I was, and have been here all along, I think part of this sadness was liberated from me, and the weekend was really good. I made myself go out and sit at the plaza, and meet people and talk to them. I made some new friends, one guy, went to his house, met his wife and daughter...his wife is in nursing school and wants to be a midwife...she was naming everything that I see at the hospital, talking about it, all the behavior towards the patients, the lack of awareness and compassion, the lack of true care...with this kind of awareness I think she would make a good MW.
I also went and practiced salsa dancing with this friend, named Blada--he is a pretty good dancer...it was fun, and I hope that we can continue to do this regularly. I can definetly learn some stuff from him.
Yes, it was a very social weekend.
Then, today, it just so happened that the new American MW's hadn't arrived yet--I had thought they would arrive on Saturday--and that they would have a translator today and we would teach the class together on postpartum hemorrhage. Marthonie was out of town--she normally does the Monday class. Well, it turned out that it was just me, and I taught the class all by myself, in Creole, with no Marthonie and no translator. My Creole is nowhere near fluent but I am understanding more and more and able to speak a little better each day. Doing the class today felt like a big step/accomplishment to me. ANd I enjoyed spending time alone with the students. I really like them. I really care for them, and they care for me too. The Haitian people, they really open their heart to you. It's beautiful.
I met some people this weekend who used to live in Port au Prince. They lost spouses, children, parents. They lost their houses, and literally have nothing. It is so crazy, how can there be so much suffering? How do these people continue their lives? They are so stoic. It's really unbelievable the level of hardship that is normal for people to go thru here. I wish that the world could be more balanced, have a more equal distribution of wealth and resources. These people are just totally ignored. So many people here cannot access whatever aid is coming in. I asked someone if he could get a card that enables him to get food handouts each month. No, he couldn't get it. End of story.
Ok...tomorrow all day at the hospital...
Reina
Then, after realizing how sad I was, and have been here all along, I think part of this sadness was liberated from me, and the weekend was really good. I made myself go out and sit at the plaza, and meet people and talk to them. I made some new friends, one guy, went to his house, met his wife and daughter...his wife is in nursing school and wants to be a midwife...she was naming everything that I see at the hospital, talking about it, all the behavior towards the patients, the lack of awareness and compassion, the lack of true care...with this kind of awareness I think she would make a good MW.
I also went and practiced salsa dancing with this friend, named Blada--he is a pretty good dancer...it was fun, and I hope that we can continue to do this regularly. I can definetly learn some stuff from him.
Yes, it was a very social weekend.
Then, today, it just so happened that the new American MW's hadn't arrived yet--I had thought they would arrive on Saturday--and that they would have a translator today and we would teach the class together on postpartum hemorrhage. Marthonie was out of town--she normally does the Monday class. Well, it turned out that it was just me, and I taught the class all by myself, in Creole, with no Marthonie and no translator. My Creole is nowhere near fluent but I am understanding more and more and able to speak a little better each day. Doing the class today felt like a big step/accomplishment to me. ANd I enjoyed spending time alone with the students. I really like them. I really care for them, and they care for me too. The Haitian people, they really open their heart to you. It's beautiful.
I met some people this weekend who used to live in Port au Prince. They lost spouses, children, parents. They lost their houses, and literally have nothing. It is so crazy, how can there be so much suffering? How do these people continue their lives? They are so stoic. It's really unbelievable the level of hardship that is normal for people to go thru here. I wish that the world could be more balanced, have a more equal distribution of wealth and resources. These people are just totally ignored. So many people here cannot access whatever aid is coming in. I asked someone if he could get a card that enables him to get food handouts each month. No, he couldn't get it. End of story.
Ok...tomorrow all day at the hospital...
Reina
Thursday, April 29, 2010
4-29-10
So, I am back in Hinche after a short break, which was WONDERFUL and REFRESHING. FIrst, I went to El Paso, spent a couple of days, saw Sergio, Kaley, and some other wonderful midwife friends. It was so refreshing. One unexpected really sweet thing was that Sergio and Eduardo organized a benefit for me, and raised money to help with my travels! That was so sweet. Sergio even painted this huge painting of me catching a baby in Haiti.
After this, I went to the Midwives for Haiti event in Virginia that was the original reason for me going to the US. IT was good and I got to learn more about the overall vision of the organization. And alot of work was accomplished.
After this, I was able to spend a week in NC, which was wonderful. I got to spend alot of time with my family, and saw some friends too...thank you to all of you...to those of you who I dodn't see, sorry, there really was hardly any time, but I am looking forward to coming back this year after my time in Haiti, and spending a longer, more relaxed time there.
Things have been mostly uneventful here. Today I ended up catching 2 babies in the delivery room with both moms squatting on the floor. Which the hospital administration HATES. They hate for women to birth "on the floor". (Even though you use the same piece of fabric under them that you would on the dirty table). But with both of them, it was simply impossible to move them onto the tables. I tried to use it as an example to the students of how we can assist women in different positions and how this is normal. The first woman, she had already had 2 homebirths, and was more self-directed than most of the women who come. She simply got herself onto the floor and was having a really hard time, alot of pain, and different people were scolding her and trying to tell her what to do. Her IV even came out from her thrashing around. To me it was all fine and normal. I caught her baby because everyone else was backing away from her and saying that she wasn't cooperating. I just stayed with her and reassured her that she was doing well. I hope that this example sinks in to the students who saw it. There was a MW there, who graduated from one of the prior classes, who wasn't pleased at all with her birthing there, and in fact I had already said something to her about that she doesn't need to yell at the women...she basically walked out of the room while the birth was happening. What was I supposed to do? Abandon her there? Force her to get onto the tiny metal bed while she was pushing?
Several times a day, everyday, I go back and forth with my feelings about being here. Sometimes, I feel like I will never learn the things I need to learn to really work effectively at this hospital...there are so many differences, and hardly any organization...and I lack knowledge about drugs...then I also feel that the model that I bring, is this tiny voice amid all this shouting...then other times I feel like I am making progress in my understanding of things there, and the language, it is improving day by day...I go back and forth about wanting to leave as soon as my 6 month committment is over, and going somewhere more peaceful, relaxing...having ample time to spend with my community on NC and EP...then I think that if I just stay a couple more months, I can see this class through their graduation, which would be very special. They are very sweet to me. Very sweet. I know it would mean alot to them if I stayed the whole time.
Time will tell.
Well, I guess that is all for now. Thank you to all of you again for all of your support and love!
Reina
After this, I went to the Midwives for Haiti event in Virginia that was the original reason for me going to the US. IT was good and I got to learn more about the overall vision of the organization. And alot of work was accomplished.
After this, I was able to spend a week in NC, which was wonderful. I got to spend alot of time with my family, and saw some friends too...thank you to all of you...to those of you who I dodn't see, sorry, there really was hardly any time, but I am looking forward to coming back this year after my time in Haiti, and spending a longer, more relaxed time there.
Things have been mostly uneventful here. Today I ended up catching 2 babies in the delivery room with both moms squatting on the floor. Which the hospital administration HATES. They hate for women to birth "on the floor". (Even though you use the same piece of fabric under them that you would on the dirty table). But with both of them, it was simply impossible to move them onto the tables. I tried to use it as an example to the students of how we can assist women in different positions and how this is normal. The first woman, she had already had 2 homebirths, and was more self-directed than most of the women who come. She simply got herself onto the floor and was having a really hard time, alot of pain, and different people were scolding her and trying to tell her what to do. Her IV even came out from her thrashing around. To me it was all fine and normal. I caught her baby because everyone else was backing away from her and saying that she wasn't cooperating. I just stayed with her and reassured her that she was doing well. I hope that this example sinks in to the students who saw it. There was a MW there, who graduated from one of the prior classes, who wasn't pleased at all with her birthing there, and in fact I had already said something to her about that she doesn't need to yell at the women...she basically walked out of the room while the birth was happening. What was I supposed to do? Abandon her there? Force her to get onto the tiny metal bed while she was pushing?
Several times a day, everyday, I go back and forth with my feelings about being here. Sometimes, I feel like I will never learn the things I need to learn to really work effectively at this hospital...there are so many differences, and hardly any organization...and I lack knowledge about drugs...then I also feel that the model that I bring, is this tiny voice amid all this shouting...then other times I feel like I am making progress in my understanding of things there, and the language, it is improving day by day...I go back and forth about wanting to leave as soon as my 6 month committment is over, and going somewhere more peaceful, relaxing...having ample time to spend with my community on NC and EP...then I think that if I just stay a couple more months, I can see this class through their graduation, which would be very special. They are very sweet to me. Very sweet. I know it would mean alot to them if I stayed the whole time.
Time will tell.
Well, I guess that is all for now. Thank you to all of you again for all of your support and love!
Reina
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Busy day...4/6/10
Today was a very exciting day at the hospital. I stayed there all day because there was so much going on. I used to always love it when it was crazy busy at MLL (Maternidad La Luz). So, I really enjoyed the craziness of today.
First off, we had 2 normal vaginal births. There are several volunteer American midwives here this week, so there were a couple helping in each birth--helping a student to catch. I helped one student, and at the same time, the other woman was birthing (in the open room where everyone gives birth). The woman I was helping with, it was her 6th baby I think. 5th or 6th. Her placenta was partially detached and after trying for a little while just with cord traction I just put on a sterile glove and went in and detached the rest of it--it was VERY easy--totally different than the other one the other day. That was it.
After this, there was a woman who had given birth at home but come in for sutures. I helped a student with that, but ended up doing alot of it myself. It was an easy 2nd degree.
While this is going on of course there are alot of other women in and out, and the other staff working with them. I try to help with births when I'm there with the students. The other staff is very gracious about letting us come in and work. I am pretty amazed actually by how easygoing they are with it.
So, after this, there is this woman who comes in, and I'm trying to figure out why...well, all she said was that they sent her from another hospital, because the bb wasn't coming well. So I'm thinking: not coming in a good position? Or has not good fetal heart tones? Well, finally someone pulls out this letter of reference from a hospital 2 hours away, stating that the cord is coming first. I look, and there it is: a piece of gauze in her underwear, and the cord in the gauze. She had come 2 HOURS to the hospital with the cord hanging out of her vagina. I immediately put her in knees chest position and put the cord inside and held it inside. Well, her bb was coming transverse. So I could feel a hand, arm, foot. It took a little while to get in action for the c-section but finally it happened, and the bb was actually ok. The woman, she was just praying the whole time. The mother. She was full of grace, just praying. It was beautiful. The bb needed resusitaion, of course, but was fine. I got to watch the whole c-section, which was cool. Both the Cuban OB and the Haitian OB were in there. Good outcome. I still can't believe she came 2 hours. The other hospital, they don't have the facilities to do c-sections.
After this, I returned to the delivery room, and it was still full. There were a few labor assessments to do, and a few people in labor, and a woman waiting for a curettage who had an incomplete abortion.
Two of the laboring women were laboring with twins!
The first to birth, it was her 11th pregnancy. Both bb's were cephalic. She birthed fine, the bb's were a little premature--maybe 35 weeks or so (from what they looked like)--weighing around 1800g. Marthonie was able to get oxygen, which they needed, and we kept that on them for awhile. 2 of the American volunteers stayed on the bb's until we finally moved them to pp with their mom. I was and still am a little worried about them--they could have used supplemental oxygen still--and they weren't breastfeeding too well yet. Alot of moms, they put their baby to the side, maybe for the whole night, without BF them at all--and the staff doesn't usually notice/help with this. I saw a baby die here once who I think basically had been left all night by herself without any contact with mom, and she just faded away. By the time someone noticed, it was too late, she was almost gone. Anyway, so I really try to help the new moms start breastfeeding and holding their babies.
The next lady with twins, she also birthed fine. Her babies were bigger. They looked term. They were also both cephalic. This lady had 2 seperate placentas, joined by membranes. The other lady had a fused placenta.
It was so great to have 2 MOMS with twins laboring at the same time...plus alot of other stuff going on--everyone was busy.
When I left tonight, there was still one woman in labor. She was 10cms, just with no urge to push. For atleast an hour.
Being busy at the hospital is fun, and gratifying, and interesting. But, however much I may be helping or teaching, I am aware that there is alot of stuff that I don't know enough about yet to really help. Like: I did a couple of assessments on ladies who just needed to go home and rest, everything was fine--and Marthonie agreed with me--then there was this other lady, who also was fine, who I was going to send home, but Marthonie prescribed her anti-vomiting meds. It's the pharmacology that I don't know enough about yet.
I guess there is stuff that I am teaching that is very important and needed and there is some other stuff that I don't know enough about to be helpful with, and that will just have to be OK. I wish I could be proficient at everything, but that is impossible. And I know that what I am bringing is valuable.
I really noticed the students today doing well with the laboring moms. Being sweet with them, massaging them. I wasn't seeing that at all when I first came. The other volunteers who come have been modelling that behavior as well. It is rubbing off...I hope it sticks.
I am going to the US for 2 weeks on Monday 4/12. I am going to a Midwives for Haiti retreat/brainstorming session. I am briefly going to see my family, which I am so thankful for. I have missed them SO MUCH. I would like to see other people but there just isn't time this time. I will be home after this fall. And have time so see people. This may be the last blog before I go. So if it is...thank you to all of you who are reading it and keeping up with my life here. Thank you for being present with me and sending your love and support.
Love...
Reina
First off, we had 2 normal vaginal births. There are several volunteer American midwives here this week, so there were a couple helping in each birth--helping a student to catch. I helped one student, and at the same time, the other woman was birthing (in the open room where everyone gives birth). The woman I was helping with, it was her 6th baby I think. 5th or 6th. Her placenta was partially detached and after trying for a little while just with cord traction I just put on a sterile glove and went in and detached the rest of it--it was VERY easy--totally different than the other one the other day. That was it.
After this, there was a woman who had given birth at home but come in for sutures. I helped a student with that, but ended up doing alot of it myself. It was an easy 2nd degree.
While this is going on of course there are alot of other women in and out, and the other staff working with them. I try to help with births when I'm there with the students. The other staff is very gracious about letting us come in and work. I am pretty amazed actually by how easygoing they are with it.
So, after this, there is this woman who comes in, and I'm trying to figure out why...well, all she said was that they sent her from another hospital, because the bb wasn't coming well. So I'm thinking: not coming in a good position? Or has not good fetal heart tones? Well, finally someone pulls out this letter of reference from a hospital 2 hours away, stating that the cord is coming first. I look, and there it is: a piece of gauze in her underwear, and the cord in the gauze. She had come 2 HOURS to the hospital with the cord hanging out of her vagina. I immediately put her in knees chest position and put the cord inside and held it inside. Well, her bb was coming transverse. So I could feel a hand, arm, foot. It took a little while to get in action for the c-section but finally it happened, and the bb was actually ok. The woman, she was just praying the whole time. The mother. She was full of grace, just praying. It was beautiful. The bb needed resusitaion, of course, but was fine. I got to watch the whole c-section, which was cool. Both the Cuban OB and the Haitian OB were in there. Good outcome. I still can't believe she came 2 hours. The other hospital, they don't have the facilities to do c-sections.
After this, I returned to the delivery room, and it was still full. There were a few labor assessments to do, and a few people in labor, and a woman waiting for a curettage who had an incomplete abortion.
Two of the laboring women were laboring with twins!
The first to birth, it was her 11th pregnancy. Both bb's were cephalic. She birthed fine, the bb's were a little premature--maybe 35 weeks or so (from what they looked like)--weighing around 1800g. Marthonie was able to get oxygen, which they needed, and we kept that on them for awhile. 2 of the American volunteers stayed on the bb's until we finally moved them to pp with their mom. I was and still am a little worried about them--they could have used supplemental oxygen still--and they weren't breastfeeding too well yet. Alot of moms, they put their baby to the side, maybe for the whole night, without BF them at all--and the staff doesn't usually notice/help with this. I saw a baby die here once who I think basically had been left all night by herself without any contact with mom, and she just faded away. By the time someone noticed, it was too late, she was almost gone. Anyway, so I really try to help the new moms start breastfeeding and holding their babies.
The next lady with twins, she also birthed fine. Her babies were bigger. They looked term. They were also both cephalic. This lady had 2 seperate placentas, joined by membranes. The other lady had a fused placenta.
It was so great to have 2 MOMS with twins laboring at the same time...plus alot of other stuff going on--everyone was busy.
When I left tonight, there was still one woman in labor. She was 10cms, just with no urge to push. For atleast an hour.
Being busy at the hospital is fun, and gratifying, and interesting. But, however much I may be helping or teaching, I am aware that there is alot of stuff that I don't know enough about yet to really help. Like: I did a couple of assessments on ladies who just needed to go home and rest, everything was fine--and Marthonie agreed with me--then there was this other lady, who also was fine, who I was going to send home, but Marthonie prescribed her anti-vomiting meds. It's the pharmacology that I don't know enough about yet.
I guess there is stuff that I am teaching that is very important and needed and there is some other stuff that I don't know enough about to be helpful with, and that will just have to be OK. I wish I could be proficient at everything, but that is impossible. And I know that what I am bringing is valuable.
I really noticed the students today doing well with the laboring moms. Being sweet with them, massaging them. I wasn't seeing that at all when I first came. The other volunteers who come have been modelling that behavior as well. It is rubbing off...I hope it sticks.
I am going to the US for 2 weeks on Monday 4/12. I am going to a Midwives for Haiti retreat/brainstorming session. I am briefly going to see my family, which I am so thankful for. I have missed them SO MUCH. I would like to see other people but there just isn't time this time. I will be home after this fall. And have time so see people. This may be the last blog before I go. So if it is...thank you to all of you who are reading it and keeping up with my life here. Thank you for being present with me and sending your love and support.
Love...
Reina
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